Snowflake Challenge Day One
Jan. 12th, 2019 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gunpowderandloveBetter late than never...
My happy place is a little bit difficult because whenever I ask myself "What are some things you really enjoy?" I think of things that either I don't have anymore or, because of my anxiety, I'm uncertain about.
For example I thought about the farmer's market in Athens. It was one of my favorite places to go during my time studying abroad. The food was way cheaper than the supermarket and because it only happened once a week, it felt like a real outing. I loved the shouting, a chorus of «Ὀλα ενα ευρώ!», and the way people called me παεδία, which was the only time I ever got to hear gender neutral language the whole time I was there, lol.
But thinking back on it just reminds me that I'll never be there again. There are other farmers markets, obviously. Greece does not have the corner on selling vegetables. But they won't be the same. And yes, I can go back one day, vacation or even somehow move there, who knows what the future holds? But I won't be there to buy my roommate apples without her even having to ask, and I won't be thinking, "Should I stop by the store for milk?" because my roommates can drink a liter a day between the two of them, it's unbelievable.
I mean, I will buy milk for roommates again at some point in my life, presumably. But you get the jist.
So that's out as a happy place, at least until I have many years of just as good memories to weigh it out.
I should stop procrastinating on things that are not my happy place because that's counter-productive.
Okay, rephrase the question. What makes me calm?
My go-to calm down is a podcast called "Sleep With Me". I've been listening to it almost every night for the past two years and it has been such a great resource for me.
The concept is that this guy is going to ramble his way through a bedtime story, and it will be so meandering and soft that you fall asleep instead of actually listening. And it obviously doesn't work for everyone, but it works really well for me.
I used to need it a lot more than I do now, back when being in my own brain was too much for me to handle, even just long enough to fall asleep. Because I would listen to it whenever I was anxious or upset, I started associating it with those feelings, so to prevent that from happening I listen to it every night, so I don't associate it with any feelings.
I do associate it with sleep though, so it really does help get me in the mood for that.
When I manage to stay awake, or get stuck staying awake, I really enjoy the stories too. The podcaster is very funny and kind.
Hmm, I'm actually really happy to think that my Happy Place is something that I can carry around with me. Other than the podcast ending one day, nothing in my personal life or my relationships or where I live can change that constant. And when the podcast does end, there will be something else to listen to, or I can re-listen to old episodes. That's nice.
Talk about your Happy Place—the things that give you joy, calms you or keeps you sane.
My happy place is a little bit difficult because whenever I ask myself "What are some things you really enjoy?" I think of things that either I don't have anymore or, because of my anxiety, I'm uncertain about.
For example I thought about the farmer's market in Athens. It was one of my favorite places to go during my time studying abroad. The food was way cheaper than the supermarket and because it only happened once a week, it felt like a real outing. I loved the shouting, a chorus of «Ὀλα ενα ευρώ!», and the way people called me παεδία, which was the only time I ever got to hear gender neutral language the whole time I was there, lol.
But thinking back on it just reminds me that I'll never be there again. There are other farmers markets, obviously. Greece does not have the corner on selling vegetables. But they won't be the same. And yes, I can go back one day, vacation or even somehow move there, who knows what the future holds? But I won't be there to buy my roommate apples without her even having to ask, and I won't be thinking, "Should I stop by the store for milk?" because my roommates can drink a liter a day between the two of them, it's unbelievable.
I mean, I will buy milk for roommates again at some point in my life, presumably. But you get the jist.
So that's out as a happy place, at least until I have many years of just as good memories to weigh it out.
I should stop procrastinating on things that are not my happy place because that's counter-productive.
Okay, rephrase the question. What makes me calm?
My go-to calm down is a podcast called "Sleep With Me". I've been listening to it almost every night for the past two years and it has been such a great resource for me.
The concept is that this guy is going to ramble his way through a bedtime story, and it will be so meandering and soft that you fall asleep instead of actually listening. And it obviously doesn't work for everyone, but it works really well for me.
I used to need it a lot more than I do now, back when being in my own brain was too much for me to handle, even just long enough to fall asleep. Because I would listen to it whenever I was anxious or upset, I started associating it with those feelings, so to prevent that from happening I listen to it every night, so I don't associate it with any feelings.
I do associate it with sleep though, so it really does help get me in the mood for that.
When I manage to stay awake, or get stuck staying awake, I really enjoy the stories too. The podcaster is very funny and kind.
Hmm, I'm actually really happy to think that my Happy Place is something that I can carry around with me. Other than the podcast ending one day, nothing in my personal life or my relationships or where I live can change that constant. And when the podcast does end, there will be something else to listen to, or I can re-listen to old episodes. That's nice.
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Date: 2019-01-12 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-16 02:12 am (UTC)